Courage is the ability to confront fear, pain, danger,
uncertainty, or intimidation. "Physical courage" is courage in the
face of physical pain, hardship, death, or threat of death, while "moral
courage" is the ability to act rightly in the face of popular opposition,
shame, scandal, or discouragement. (Source: Wikipedia)
Motherhood is sometimes taking for-granted I
want all you women to know how valued you are and that God loves you! You’re
amazing for all you do and don’t even think you’re not good enough because you
are!
So I ran across this post I guess it really got to me that is
why I am writing about it… http://www.huffingtonpost.com/babblecom/my-wife-is-expecting-twins_b_3141819.html
My Wife Is Expecting
Twins and I Am Not Happy about It...
Quote: (As
horrible as this might sound, we found ourselves wishing these twins away.)
As I am
reading this I cannot help but think to myself, wow how selfish can you be really?!?!?…I
know it is scary and can be overwhelming, but there are lots of couples that
would dream to have more. Yes it would be hard but God would not give us what
we can’t handle. It is my prayer that when they are born they will have
overwhelming joy for them. I mean everyone has a right to feel the way they
want to… it’s called free agency.:) We
can choose to be happy, or we can choose to be sad, or mad it is all a choice. Every
child is a miracle… I know it was their
right to have a desire to hope to have a girl… But the fact of the matter is
that we just all need to be grateful for what we are given. Our children are
only ever lent to us.
We never know just how long we will be able to
keep them for. So enjoy the ones you have. Enjoy your pregnancy praise your
children and hold them tightly and love them. Tell them you love them every day.
And enjoy your life. Because it is the little moments right now that counts.
Once your children are grown they are gone. The memories are all you have so
cherish those moments. So if you are having a hard time with the miracle that
God gave you stewardship over try and count your many blessings, if you want a
girl try ADOPTION… Yes
it is the hardest thing to go through but the most rewarding growing experience
in the world. This route is definitely not easy at all… However keep in mind it is God’s gift to us
all, to be able to carry a (BABY) is a miracle. Think about it… This gift is
truly amazing, what I would dream to have this opportunity even if I was sick
to death it would be worth it.… The fact of the matter is I use to cry all the
time, I will admit that I was very sad, and it was just hard to live. I would wonder
why me!?!?! Why is everyone I know able
to get pregnant and not (ME)!! I would
tell myself suck it up, and stop crying, and you don’t need to beat yourself up
for not being able to be pregnant. I
would say to myself God has special plans for you; he has miracles coming your
way. He needs people like you to be able to adopt, and take care of his
children that are either abandoned, or in an orphanage, or hard to place, or
alone, or in foster care and available for adoption, and no one will adopt
them. Or birthparents that wish they could give them more but just can’t so
they make the choice to place them for adoption, and this will give them a
second chance at life. So many kids need families and they want a two parent
home… The question I must ask myself is
where these children would be if no one adopted.… They need families just as
much as I want children. So I believe that it needed to be this way so we would
adopt these kids. These children desire a family, they need us and we need
them.
It took me
a long time to get where I am today… I have grown so much from this experience
and I really do feel complete and whole. Because I know who I am, and I know
that God, knows and loves me and he has big plans for my husband and I… I feel
blessed to be able to adopt, it truly is a miracle. I understand why I have not
been able to conceive. Who knows maybe I will around the corner you just never
know what Gods plan is… I would have not
adopted if I had conceived. Not conceiving lead us towards the adoption path. There
are so many kids out there that need us. I believe God knew that so this could
be why I have not had the experience yet. But if I were to conceive now I would say Adoption
still would be a part of our lives because of this experience we have
grown in ways that you can’t even imagine unless you have gone through it. I
realize even though this is so hard to bare, to go through. I would not change
it for the world. I wanted to grow, I wanted to be tested, I wanted to know who
I truly was and this was a great way to find out. How to get through trials and
to be able to rely on a higher power than my own and trust in God and have
faith believing it will all work out. I needed this… A Mother out there might
not have even considered adoption but when presented with the idea it just
might work…
Think
about it: It is so easy to get an abortion and want to abort a baby that is the
easy way… No one ever thinks of adoption
as an option it is rarely thought about. Lots of women have a desire to carry a
child for nine months, and this birthmother cannot hide it when she feels she
needs too. Or she is in a horrible place
right now and knows that she will not be able to provide for her child but does
everything she can to take care of her child. She falls and can’t do it and She places her
child up for adoption she knew that she would not be able to care for him and
at the same time give him the world like she wanted to so she gave up her child
and it was the most loving, selfless and motherly thing she could do…. So since
she made this hard decision you feel disappointed or sad because you are
carrying twins… Why not place one up for adoption and give it to someone who
would love and cherish that child. I
would never be able to express the gratitude and the love I feel and wow what
an amazing woman our son’s Birth Mother is… I would never tell anyone what
choice to make, but I will say that she chose to let her child live was also
one of the best decisions she ever made, had she not, I never would have been
able to…
Fall in love with my beautiful son and he would never
have been able to touch so many lives in such a profound and beautiful way. At
the end of the day you are giving everyone a chance, yes you’re giving your
child the biggest and best chance, but you’re giving yourself an equally great
chance to go out and take the world by storm
Birth moms (and dads) are my heroes.
Especially the ones that have touched our lives and the ones we have come to
know... I can say I truly love and care so much for them. My love has grown so
much for Sweet peas birth mom I think she is amazing! It’s amazing how a baby
can touch two mother’s hearts, and make it one. What a great relationship it is
growing to be. It is so difficult too I cannot see this little girl out of my
life! I just want what is best for her
and I pray that the Lord will put her where she is supposed to be.
My love and admiration for Birth Mothers
is something words cannot even describe. But it makes me want to be a better
mother every single day.
Our son is 5 years old now and I am
feeling so blessed to have him be a part of our family… I love his birth mom so
much!! I am so grateful, for the
relationship that we do have. So this is a tribute to Elijah’s birth mother
because she is amazing woman who changed our lives forever! Thank you Z we love
you so much!
Remember
cherish your children organize your time with them. I am so grateful for
awesome husband who gave me some excellent advice which has worked wonders... I
was always in constant chaos stress up to my eyeballs because my house was not
in order… Still trying to learn how to be a homemaker since I use to be a
working Mom and trying to balance busy schedules cleaning the home and making
time for my son. Wondering at times I have a choice is it the house?!?! Or is
it my boy? Of course I realized that my boy was more important. But at times
when it got really out of control I could not handle it anymore and I realized
my life was not in order, something has got to change. I am missing out on time
with my boy because I am (OCD) and cannot stand a messy house. So I talked to
my husband and he saved the day. He gave me advice that has changed my life
drastically!! Every night I pick up the
house, I take a hour or two and that has saved my life! The next day I have the whole day with my
kids. To goof off play around it really has worked amazingly great. I use to
want to pull my hair out and scream because it was so messy and I finally have
something that works perfectly and gives me my time back with my loved
ones. I wanted my time to be used wisely
because I realize time is so short and going by so fast. I love my family and
they mean so much to me. Time is really important and that is what they will
remember most. I want my children to say My Mom always spent time with me, she
always played with me. I want to be that great example for them. I don’t want
them to remember me by saying all she did was clean all the time and never
spent or made any time with me!:( I am
admitting I am not perfect and I think there is this fake fantasy world we live
in that our homes have to be perfect our kids need to be dressed perfect we
need to have the perfect life and perfect marriage when in reality we are all
trying to learn from our mistakes and our children don’t need to suffer and
they don’t need a perfect mom with flawless hair, a perfect body perfect
clothes, perfect house etc. They don’t notice those things they just want our
time they want us to be right here sitting down being in the moment with them. Dropping everything that is not important and
doing what they want. Taking time out for them every day is what matters. Creating
memories with them outside of them home being active with them. Teaching them
what life is all about.. Exploring and having fun and preparing them for what
awaits in this world when they grow up. Taking time to teach them about responsibilities…
That is what they will remember because right now is the time to spend with
them and forget about trying to be perfect Just be YOU the best you can be for
today take one step, ONE word at a time and make your memories count.
“A hundred years from now it will not matter what my bank account was,
the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove...but the world may be
different because I was important in the life of a child.”
This quote is what I wanted I wanted to be the best I could be for my children...This is not to put or make anyone feel bad at all... I was just frazzled and stressed out a ton and I realized I could not live with a dirty house, and spend time at the same time. I will admit I felt like I was cleaning more than I was spending time… so I had to change. That is so bad to admit but I do want to say since maybe some of you are struggling just like me in trying to find balance. Since I have been managing my time wisely it has made a huge difference in the way I do things... I am not a perfect mother but I am GOOD enough for my child! Because in his eyes he sees a Queen, he sees what sometimes we don’t see in ourselves. So don’t give up or beat yourself up because there is no manual on how to be the perfect parent, what matters right now is raising your children to be strong leaders, to stand up for truth! Make your home a haven of delight. President Benson has quoted President Kimball as saying: “The husband is expected to support his family, and only in an emergency should a wife secure outside employment. Her place is in the home, to build the home into a haven of delight. Numerous divorces can be traced directly to the day when the wife left the home and went out into the world into employment. Two incomes raise the standard of living beyond its norm. Two spouses working prevents the complete and proper home life, breaks into the family prayers, and creates independence which is not cooperative, cause distortion, limits the family, and frustrates the children already born… I beg of you, you who could and should be bearing and rearing a family: Wives, come home from the typewriter, the laundry, the nursing; come home from the factory, the café. No career approaches in importance that of wife, home maker, Mother- cooking meals, washing dishes, making beds for one’s precious husband and children . Come home, wives, to your husbands. Make home a heaven for them. Wrap the motherly cloak about and, unembarrassed, help in a major role to create the bodies for the immortal souls who anxiously await. When you have fully complemented your husband in home life and borne the children, growing up full of faith, integrity, responsibility, and goodness, then you have achieved your accomplishment supreme, without peer, and you will be the envy [of all] through time and eternity”.
(Spencer W. Kimball, San Antonio fireside, December 3, 1977 pp.9-12 Quoted in The Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson. Pp514-15.
Now I hope this does not cause a uproar just posting this was very daring... But I use to be a working mother in fact the first 3 years of my sons life I was… I will admit it was very hard on my marriage and even since I came home what huge difference it has made in my families lives. I know that some of us just don’t have a choice and we have to work. I commend you for doing the best you can and for trying. All you single Mothers and Fathers out there just don’t have a choice but you are not forgotten you’re doing an amazing job! I applaud you for being the Mother and Father to your children. They need you and you’re just trying to survive and make it in this different world we live in today. That quote was back in 1977 now we live definitely live in different times. It was easy to live on 1 income back then. It can be quite challenging and quite a huge sacrifice and scary at times. I will say that if it is something you truly desire then God will bless you and will help you make it through it. It is not easy being home at times because your only interaction sometimes is your children and you just need to get out. Sometimes you feel so impatient with them you just feel like you weren't your best today... I am forever grateful for the unconditional love I receive and the forgiveness I get for being a naughty Mom who just needs to put herself in timeout..... I have thought of working inside the home or finding ways to supplement the income. So I can always be here for my kids. Find what works for you and your family. We are all just trying to live and survive and enjoy this beautiful Life that God has so blissfully blessed us with! So what I am trying to say is, whether you’re working or not it is not a bad thing if you are… It is something you have to do and it is a personal decision between your family and the Lord. Just remember to take the time for your children because they need us. Life is already busy and with work and sports and dance and electronics we can get so busy and be so tired to take the time that they need they need quality time. So let’s try and make time for them. Put down the electronics for an hour have a time out no electronics day and just go out and have fun, creating the memories your children desire because they need you! They need strong Mothers and Fathers to be in the moment with them and teach them.
So remember who you are and you were created in God’s image and he has given you amazing talents and abilities and with those talents use them to teach your children and love them. Because we never know just how we will go… I know I want to stand before God and say I did all that I could and I tried the best I knew how to make a difference in the lives of my children.
God bless you all!
Here is courage to be the light in our children’s lives!
Xo
Genesis
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