Hello Friends, New friends, of course my family,

My life is so blessed!  You don’t realize it when you’re struggling in the moment, you might ask

What’s so nice about a trial…?  Well it can either make us grow or it can destroy us… we can lose faith, and stop believing in the God we love so much...  Or we can hang on with all our might, and pray to the Lord to help us get out of this trial with understanding that we might know, what God's plan is. I am so grateful to be out of this depression, I am so grateful for yesterday… 06/03/2013 is exactly what I needed to get out of this… I felt like the Lord was sending me glimpses of hope and happiness... We had the opportunity to spend time with sweet Angel, We love her so much!!  Words cannot express how excited we were, to be able to spend the whole day with her. She is our world, and we feel so blessed! Elijah loves her so much and he just could not get enough of her… I know this is just the beginning, to a beautiful new journey... We don't know where it will take us.

We don’t know the Lords plan, we cannot see into the future.  What we do know is she will be a part of our family forever!  Our family grew in ways we would not have imagined.  We feel so loved by Angel's birth mother, to love us enough to give us time to spend with Angel. Mary is dear to our hearts, and we cannot wait to see where the future takes us!  I think of Elijah’s birth mom and the sacrifice she made. I know what it feels like in a way to give up a child… I was able to raise Angel from 3 days old until 6 months. I see why a birth Mother would want an open relationship because I want one with Angel... I learned so much from this experience. It would kill me to know it was over, I was never going to see her again. Thank goodness we have built an excellent relationship with Mary; she wants us a part of her Angel’s life forever! I know we will have lots of  moments like this, and this is just the beginning!  I cannot wait to look down the road years from now and see Gods Hand!

Here is a big GIGANTIC HUG to everyone we know… We have felt so much love and support, thank you for your faith, and prayers on our families’ behalf.

Throughout all of this, I have been able to gain really close relationships, with those I've wanted to grow closer too and I was not sure how. This created an opportunity for it to blossom into a fabulous relationship.  It’s as if God opened the windows of heaven and blessed me in so many ways, He answered all my prayers in so many ways…  He grew my faith along with others, He showed me that people really care what we are going through, and we have found the love from our Friends and Family.

I would like to say I was in a really hard place when this happened, it was very hard, I mean very, very, hard!  I tried to be so optimistic and positive, it killed me to be so negative; it was the worst feeling and made my stomach ache. 

I would get so upset with myself when I would breakdown and cry. I have never gone through anything like this and I hated feeling these emotions, it made me so angry. I had to hurt in ways I never felt before in order to grow into the person God wanted me to become… Throughout all of this I have learned to love unconditionally and the more I LOVE the happier I am.

The Lord showed and taught me what the pure love of Christ is… He has taught me compassion and empathy towards others that if I had not gone through this I would not have learned what unconditional love is… I would not have learned that every single human being deserves love and a chance at what they desire, God loves us all… we all make mistakes different kinds, and we will never leave this world perfect.  We all sin differently, but the Lord looks into the hearts of man, and He knows what is best for all of us.  He knows how to best help us in life and what we go through.  I am glad to finally come to this realization that God has a purpose for everything.

 I can finally say I have Hope and I believe God knows exactly what he’s doing! I know our family will grow in God's own time. We will adopt again, I know it’s on its way…  Isn't the Lord amazing?!?! HE knew how to get me to grow, in ways that would be for my good… I had to learn and actually listen to friends and families' advice. I had to learn to let myself go through these emotions in order to heal  and to let myself  feel and be ANGRY, DEPRESSED, SAD, FRUSTRATED, GUILTY, WORTHLESS, STRUGGLE, ALONE, HOPELESSNESS…

In order to find JOY, HAPPINESS, UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, HOPE, FAITH, TRUST, BELIEF, INSPIRATION, PEACE, MIRACLES, GRATITUDE!

I had to learn to search my scriptures to find answers from God...

 I know when we're in a dark place we cannot see past that moment. It is hard; we must know we are never alone… God sends us Angels; he sends us blessings we never would have imagined. Through his purpose in all things he touches many people’s lives! I have no doubts whatsoever that this was for a purpose and GOD has amazing plans in store for us. I am filled with "joy" and "happiness" and "gratitude!" I love the Lord. I want to serve him with all my heart! I want the lord to be able to use me for His purposes. I want the Lord to be able to trust me with anything; I am a part of the fellowship of the unashamed. The dye has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made. I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I won’t look back, let up, slow down, or be still. My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, and my future is secure. I’m finished and done with low living, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tamed visions, worldly talking, cheap giving, and dwarfed goals.  I no longer need pre-eminence, positions, promotions, plaudits, or popularity. I don’t have to be right, first, recognized, praised, regarded, or rewarded. I now live by faith, lean on His presence, walk with patience, am uplifted by prayer, and labor with power. My face is set, my gait is fast, and my goal is Heaven. My road is narrow, my way is rough. My mission is clear. I cannot be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, divided, or delayed. I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of the adversary, negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity. I won’t give up, shut up, or let up until I have stayed up, stored up, and paid up for the cause of Christ. I must go till He comes, give till I drop, preach till all know, and work till He stops me. And when He returns for His own, He will have no problem recognizing me. My banner will be clear.

   It is my hope and desire for all who read this to feel the love of God. He knows you, and He loves you so much! He is aware of all your circumstances in life. He wants you to find him and come back to him, get to know him. He is waiting for you… Don’t think you’re not good enough and that you can’t come back no matter what you've done, you can…  Because Gods Grace is sufficient and his Son Jesus Christ, our brother, already paid the price and his grace is sufficient, it is enough…  Don’t give up and don’t look for excuses not to come back or learn of him. Look for the Lord's strength for He can help you. He can give you strength to change your life and come unto Him. He can help you become your best self. Please don’t give up I am pulling for you all, and praying for you! It is my prayer that you might be able to know God's love for you, as I have learned His love for me.

Now lets get this celebration on the road and enjoy the journey because God is amazing and I love him for the lessons he's taught me! 

Your friend,
Genesis